


Tower Princess, Coming Down

by seatbeltdrivein



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-25
Updated: 2011-02-25
Packaged: 2017-10-15 22:46:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/165630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seatbeltdrivein/pseuds/seatbeltdrivein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Catherine knows there's more to life than being shuffled into place by her family. She just doesn't know what, exactly. Post-manga, femmeslash, Maria Ross x Catherine Armstrong. [Written for fmaladyfest's first round on LJ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tower Princess, Coming Down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [olive_jeans](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=olive_jeans).



The streets were nearly empty in the early morning hours, the quiet dark surreal. Catherine held her suitcase with sweaty, shaking hands and walked carefully down the sidewalk, avoiding the cracks.

"It is a great honor," her brother said, staring down at her with small twinkling blue eyes. "I shall eagerly await the wedding!"

"Do you think it will be long?" Catherine asked quietly, tightening her grip on the luggage handle. "It seems like forever—a whole month! Is it really necessary?"

Alex leaned down a bit, neck hooked toward her to catch her soft words. "A month? No, dear sister, a month will pass in no time at all!"

"I hope so."

As glad as she was for his presence, Catherine was tempted to grab her brother's hand and beg to stay. But that, she knew, would be inappropriate. An Armstrong had to persevere in the face of adversity! What was a wedding, after all? She should be glad. Of course, she should.

A car rounded the corner just ahead, and Alex clapped a hand on her shoulder, gave it a comforting squeeze. He looked so happy. No, she assured herself, there was no reason to be afraid. Her brother would never let anything bad happen to her. Not, of course, that a wedding was a bad thing. It was a good thing.

Really, she told herself again, it was an excellent thing.

The car pulled to a stop, and a woman stepped out, heels clicking to attention, saluting smartly. "Major Armstrong, sir! Everything is ready."

"Catherine, this is Lieutenant Maria Ross. She will be your escort to the North." He leaned down, hunching to her level in a comical squat, and wrapped his arms around her. "She will take good care of you," Alex promised. Then he stood abruptly, wiping his eyes. "And I can remember when you were just a baby! Getting married!" He sniffed. "You've grown so much, Catherine."

Catherine smiled, glanced quickly at the woman still standing next to the car. She was still at attention, shoulders up and back straight. "Thank you, Alex."

"I'll send word the moment we arrive, sir," Lieutenant Ross said. "But if Catherine wants to make the train, we need to leave now."

"Of course," Alex said, wiping his eyes again. He'd forgotten his kerchief, Catherine noted, amused. She took hers from her coat pocket and handed it to him.

"Take care of yourself, Alex," she said, twisting her hands on the suitcase handle. "I'll miss you."

Alex patted her shoulder and started tearing up all over again. The lieutenant sighed and opened the back door of the car, grabbed Catherine's suitcase. "We need to go," she said again, but she was smiling and her tone was patient. "Goodbye, sir."

Catherine climbed in, and when the car took off down the road, she watched her brother's large frame grow small, his hand still up, waving until he'd shrunk from sight, bleeding away into the background of gray, silent city buildings.

She turned her eyes to her hands splayed out on her lap and reminded herself to breathe.

"The trip is about a week and a half to North by train," Lieutenant Ross said after a few minutes of silence. "Have you ever been?"

"No, ma'am," Catherine said. "I've only been out of Central once."

"What was that?" Lieutenant Ross glanced back in the mirror, eyebrows high.

"N-no, ma'am," Catherine said, louder. "I've never been up that way."

"It's not so bad. Cold," she said, "but overall, it's very pretty. We rarely get snow here, and even when we do, it's nothing like North."

"It sounds nice." Lonely, too. Something about the cold always seemed just lonely to Catherine. Perhaps it was the image of her sister, trapped all alone in that big fortress with nothing but her soldiers, frozen to the rest of the world. Catherine couldn't imagine a life like that. With any luck, she'd never have to.

"Do you mind if I call you Catherine?" Lieutenant Ross asked. "It's a long trip. I don't want you to think you have to treat me like I'm your commanding officer," she said, laughing. "You can call me Maria."

"That would be nice." The atmosphere eased then. The lieutenant—no, Maria—was a person, not just a soldier, and using her first name felt almost like traveling with a friend. "Have you done much traveling, Maria?"

Maria nodded. "I've gone a lot of places during my career. Not all of them very nice, unfortunately! I think, really, that I liked Xing the most, though."

Xing, Catherine understood. "I've been there," she said. "It was so different from here!"

Maria snorted. "No kidding! I never could get used to the tables. I'm not used to kneeling down at every meal like that!"

"I had trouble with the cups," Catherine admitted. All of her etiquette classes were wasted in Xing, where table manners were, to say the least, completely different from in Central. No one looked twice if you burped loudly at a meal, or if you used the same utensils for everything. And the cups! After spending years learning how to properly hold teacups, she just didn't understand cups with no handles.

"Oh, the cups," Maria groaned. "I'm right with you, there. It was hard enough learning to eat with sticks, but I couldn't even pick up the cup most of the time! I usually ended up spilling tea down my chest," she said sheepishly.

The train was set to leave at a quarter after five in the morning, and Maria whipped the car into the station with five minutes to spare. "Come on," she said, running around to open Catherine's door and grab her suitcase, a second bag that had been sitting in the front passenger's seat already slung over her back. "We'll need to hurry. The major kept us too long."

"Alex can be like that sometimes," Catherine offered, walking quickly behind Maria. There weren't many people in the station, just a few men in suits sitting on benches, cigarettes in their mouths and newspapers in their hands. Maria ushered her to the platform where the train waited, steam billowing into the early morning sky and the engine already whirring loudly, ready to take off down the tracks. She handed their tickets to the man standing at the entrance and guided Catherine on, one hand resting on the small of her back.

"Pick a compartment," Maria said, following a timid Catherine down the narrow aisles of the first class section. "Just make sure we're the only ones in it. Your family requested specifically that we ride alone."

"A-all right," Catherine said, looking back and forth. All the compartments looked exactly the same, doors open and seats still empty. It didn't seem likely that many people would even be riding that particular route at such an early hour, but Maria wasn't willing to take chances, obviously. Catherine had a sneaking suspicion that her new fiancée might have had something to do with the need for an escort and complete privacy.

It was unnerving to think she might have to spend the rest of her life with a soldier at her back, just because of something silly like a marriage.

Shaking her head, Catherine scolded herself silently for thinking so negatively and chose a compartment in the far back right of the section, taking a seat on the padded bench and watching Maria close the door, check the lock, and slide their luggage into the overhead compartment.

Out the window, the skyline began to lighten, and people started mulling about the platform, waving to each other and greeting one another. Catherine pressed her face to the glass and took her last look at the city she'd lived in her whole life. The train let out a piercing whistle and the wheels started turning, the scenery sliding slowly past the window.

"Right on time," Maria said, looking down at her watch. "Excellent. I love it when the trains are actually on schedule." She pulled a folded newspaper from the pocket of her heavy military jacket and began reading, leaving her charge to her own devices. Catherine watched the older woman, attending to a brief fantasy of military service, following in her brother and sister's footsteps. It wasn't even that she was interested in joining the military, but…

Wouldn't it be nice, Catherine mused, if she could choose her own path?

*

Eight days in to the train ride and one to go, Catherine was crawling out of her skin. They'd crossed the border into North Amestris a day before, and the scenery out the window had steadily grown darker and whiter, the ground and trees and every passing town covered in a thick layer of snow and ice.

She'd managed to drift off to sleep for the third time that day, a novel face-down on her lap, when Maria suddenly went rigid, head cocked and a hand at her side. "Did you hear something?"

"I don't think so," Catherine said, covering her mouth quickly to stifle a yawn. "Is something wrong?"

"Stay here." Maria was up, standing at the door to their private compartment, gun drawn. Catherine watched her, eyebrows drawn together and every hair on her neck standing at attention, a chill creeping down her spine.

"Maria?" she asked, setting the book aside and standing. "What—" A loud bang cut off the question, followed by several muffled shouts down the corridor. Maria cracked open the door and immediately shut it again, hissing a swear.

"Get up. Leave your things where they are."

"What's happening?" Catherine asked. Maria grabbed her wrist and made a vague shushing sound, cracking open the door once more and peeking out the gap.

Something felt wrong. There wasn't any better way to put it. Catherine's mind was groggy from over a week of sleepy days on a train. Her body ached from it, and her mind wouldn't cooperate with her mouth, every question she wanted to ask silenced by a sudden heaviness of her tongue. She tried to swallow, but her mouth had dried and—

Three gunshots, one right after the other, rang out through the train. Maria's grip on her wrist tightened painfully, and before Catherine could even process it, Maria was dragging her out of the compartment, the woman's rigid frame pulling her at breakneck speed down the corridor. She was in heels, running hurt, but some instinct, a rush of adrenalin, pushed the pain out of her head because just behind them, the shouts were growing louder, pounding footsteps chasing them through the train.

"Maria," Catherine whispered hurriedly, glancing back and stumbling slightly for her trouble, "what's happening?"

There was no answer. Maria pulled her flush to her side and shoved her through a separate door, stepping in after her and closing it. Catherine fell and quickly jolted upright, looking around in alarm. They were in a barren section of the train, piles of luggage around them.

"Get down," Maria hissed at her, releasing Catherine's wrist and gesturing over to a large pile of boxes. "Behind there. Stay down, and stay quiet!"

The train was still moving, though Catherine wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. She ducked down out of sight, peering around the edge of the boxes to watch Maria standing completely still, so much so that it looked like she wasn't even breathing. _Breathe_ , Catherine told herself, _keep breathing._ She didn't know what to do. Her blood felt like it wasn't moving, like everything in her had jerked to a halt the moment she'd heard the gunshots, the shouting, and her mind quickly connected the dots. The escort, the secrecy—they were trying to get _her_. She was the one, and she didn't even know what to do, couldn't think for the pounding in her ears.

Maria moved, the motion forcing Catherine's panicky mind back to reality. "We have to get off the train," she said.

Catherine stared. "Off?" she asked, blank. The train was _moving._ Getting off would be impossible at that point, unless Maria knew of some way to stop it.

Maria crossed the compartment to behind where Catherine was hiding and kicked a crate twice her size out of the way, knocking the thing aside with an echoing thud. Catherine looked quickly at the door, expecting whoever was attacking the train to hear the sound and come rushing in, but nothing happened. The noises from the train were still there, but they were frenzied, muffled sounds. Panic, fear. People couldn't know what to do in such a situation, and she felt a sharp pang of guilt. She had the lieutenant there to save her, but what could the other passengers do?

Behind her, another bang, much louder, and suddenly a blast of icy wind shocked her skin and set her teeth to chattering. She had a coat on, but it wasn't nearly enough to do much against the cold of North Amestris.

She turned, greeted by the sight of the outdoors and Maria clinging to the wall of the train, one arm outstretched. "Catherine! Come on!"

Catherine shook her head and clung to the crate. Maria was gritting her teeth, eyes darting to the door and back. Against the rushing of the wind, Catherine couldn't hear anything else, but whoever was on the train had to hear _them._

"Catherine!" Maria shouted, the calming, tranquil tone the woman normally spoke in was gone, replaced with something that left no room for argument and served only to increase the terror gnawing at Catherine's insides. "Hurry up! Do you want to die here?"

It didn't make _sense._ Why would anyone be after her? Why couldn't Maria just—just fight them, do whatever soldiers did and make them leave?

Without thinking, without taking the time to process movement, Catherine stood on shaky legs, arms outstretched, and stumbled over to Maria, fighting against the suction of the air outside. Maria grabbed her close, wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's shoulders, and spoke directly into her ear. "We're jumping," she said, her voice sounding far away. "I promise you, you will be fine. We'll be fine. Do you understand?"

Catherine nodded mutely, eyes wide with fear, hands gripping at the thick material of Maria's uniform. With one last look at the door, Maria took a deep breath, pulled Catherine as close as she could, and muttered something that Catherine couldn't hear, the words ripped away by the rushing wind.

And then, as if by magic, they were tearing through the air, wind and white snow all around them. Catherine closed her eyes and thought of her brother, thought of anything but where she was.

 _Keep breathing._

*

"You're awake?"

Catherine blinked into consciousness, exhaling shakily as she sat up, a heavy blanket falling into her lap. No, she realized quickly, not a blanket. It was a thick royal blue material—the lieutenant's uniform jacket. "Maria?" The name came out slurred, and black spots bloomed in his eyes when she tried to stand, grabbing at the back of her head and inhaling sharply.

"Be careful!" Maria was beside her, a hand on Catherine's shoulder and the other grabbing her arm, pulling her upright. "You nicked the side of your head when we jumped from the train. You were out for about two hours." There were obvious lines in Maria's forehead, Catherine realized. She'd not gotten anywhere near as close to the woman when they were on the train, but she was certain Maria hadn't looked so—so _worn._ The corners of her eyes sagged downward, weighed down by some invisible force that tugged her lips along with it.

"When we fell…?" The train, Catherine remembered with sudden clarity. The train and the gunshots and the screams and that frightened tightness in her chest—"What happened?"

Maria sighed and ran a hand through her short hair. "The train was attacked."

Well, yes, that much was obvious. Catherine fought back an uncharacteristic urge to demand answers, to demand anything, but she managed to stay her tongue, instead keeping her eyes locked on Maria's, watching the darker blue flicker back and forth from concerned to cautious to guarded and not really understanding why.

"Your—intended," Maria stumbled over her words, "he's a very important man. He and your sister, the Major General Armstrong."

Catherine nodded, hoping she looked more encouraging than as intensely irritated as she felt.

Sighing again, Maria pushed Catherine down by her shoulders and sat next to her, legs crossed. She rubbed her eyes. "I'm not as—you understand how the military works." It seemed to be more of a statement than a question, so Catherine didn't respond. "I don't have the highest clearance. I don't have much of a security clearance standing at all, really, so I was given the bare bones of the facts and that was it. But it's my understanding that…" She hesitated, looking at Catherine. "Drachmans," she said. "Your sister and your fiancée both made enemies of the Drachmans early on in their careers. The whole reason you were being sent to the North so early on was so you could be better protected."

"But why?" It didn't make any sense! Just because that man and her sister made enemies—she didn't know anything about Drachma!

"Because you're what links them," Maria said simply. "You've heard the saying 'kill two birds with one stone' haven't you? Well, you're the stone that will break them both, in the eyes of Drachma."

Catherine's heart dropped, her breath stuttering in her chest. "They want me," she said, words slow, "to hurt…my sister? And my fiancée?"

Maria shrugged. "It's like I said, the details weren't given to me. I was told to keep you safe and make certain that you got to the North, as a favor to both a high-ranking military official and to the Armstrong family. And I will," she added, voice strong. "I promised them, and I promised you. I won't let anything happen to you."

She was trying to reassure her? Catherine felt useless, even more than when she'd been sent off to Xing with her parents while her siblings fought for the country. There was no excuse for it, no reason for her to be the thing that could hurt another person. Stomach churning, Catherine pulled her knees up to her chest, pulling her skirt tight over her shins to keep the skin warm. She was—useless. And there was nothing, _nothing_ , worse than being useless.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"It's not your fault!" Maria protested. "You couldn't have done anything to stop this—or to cause it. Some people just…" Maria trailed off, waved her hands in a gesture of frustration. "There's no helping them."

Maria didn't understand, but then, Catherine didn't think she could. The lieutenant was a soldier, someone who made her career being—being strong and independent. What did she know of waiting and being the one sent away, protected? There was nothing worse than seeing her brother's back, knowing he might die trying to protect the country for her sake, for their family.

But she was a lady, after all, and a lady would never voice such thoughts. "Thank you," she said, wondering if Maria could hear the emptiness in the words. "What now?"

Maria gave her an indecipherable look and then averted her eyes. "Now? Now, we walk."

"Walk?" Walk where? They were in the middle of a forest, snow everywhere. Every direction looked the same and worse still, it was _night_ and it was _freezing_!

"North, of course," Maria said. "We're not safe here. There's no telling whether or not we're being pursued, and if we stay out here with no supplies, we're dead."

"Do you know where we are?" Catherine asked, hesitant. "How close?"

Standing, Maria squinted up at the sky, one finger pointed outward, tracing some invisible line. Then, she pointed to the right. "That way."

"How can you tell?"

"The position of the stars. It's something I learned while I was in Xing," Maria said, breaking into a smile for the first time since the attack on the train. "They have all sorts of techniques like that, things we would never even consider."

When Catherine was in Xing, she hadn't heard of anything like that. They'd been in the same country—how had Maria learned all those things and Catherine not?

"I see," Catherine said, dubious. "How far?"

"That," Maria said, "I cannot answer. There's really just no telling right now. The best we can do is walk and try not to be seen. With any luck, there'll be a town somewhere nearby."

A town meant a phone and a phone meant rescue. That was logic Catherine could get behind. "We should start then, I suppose…"

Maria let out a sudden bark of laughter, causing Catherine to jump. "You sound so thrilled," she said, chuckling. "I guess this isn't the sort of thing you've ever had to do. It's a wonder that you're related to Major General Armstrong, the way she carries on!"

That stung. Catherine looked at the ground, at her feet in the prim black heels her mother had bought for her birthday, and pretended the blur in her eyes was from the snow and wind. "No," she said honestly, stomach hollowing out, "we're nothing alike."

When she took the first step, Maria fell in line just behind her, and for the briefest moment, Catherine pretended she was the one in charge, the rescuer rather than the rescued.

If only.

*

Maria never asked for her coat back and Catherine never offered. As the night wore on, she was glad to have it. Her body quaked with the force of her chills, and her head ached from the nonstop chattering of her teeth. Maria seemed to be doing well, her uniform heavy enough that even without the jacket, she was warm. Or maybe there was some secret military training for intense temperature resistance?

"The sun's beginning to rise," Maria said, voice low. "We need to find cover."

"Cover? But why?" The idea of rest was appealing, but the idea of getting to a town was even more appealing.

"We can't take the chance of being found," Maria said, shaking her head. "We need to find somewhere for a few hours. You should sleep," she added at the end, as though hoping that would persuade Catherine. Catherine's eyes felt glued open and her feet ached and her entire body was stiff from walking longer in one period of time than she had in her entire life. Yes, sleep sounded nice—heavenly, even.

"All right," she agreed, pleased that at least she hadn't had to ask for a break. "But where?"

Looking around, Maria frowned thoughtfully, circling Catherine and trying to get a better look at their surroundings. "This way," she said finally. "There might be a cavern or something around here somewhere."

'A cavern or something' didn't sound all that wonderful, but it was better than nothing—and _definitely_ better than being caught, assuming the lieutenant wasn't just being paranoid. Catherine held on to a very thin strand of hope that the men from the train weren't out in the forest chasing them. If they were… Really, if there _was_ someone out there, she certainly didn't want to know about it.

It took nearly an hour, during which time the sun had crept almost fully above the horizon, but Maria managed to suss out a small hollowed-out area in the middle of a thicket of bushes. She'd ushered Catherine inside it and instructed her to get as much sleep as she could. "I'll wake you when it gets close to dusk," she promised.

"Don't you need to sleep?"

Maria smiled thinly. "I'm used to this kind of situation. Just get some rest while you can." Her gun was in her hand, but she was at least sitting. It wouldn't do either of them any good if Maria didn't relax when she could.

Feeling guilty, Catherine wrapped Maria's jacket around herself and curled her legs up, knees towards her chest. Cradling her head in her arms, exhaustion overtook her, not even the prickling of pine needles or the chill of the wintry ground enough to stave off sleep.

*

Trains, Catherine decided, were a thing that she would never again take advantage of. Maria woke her when the sun set, and they'd gone right back to walking, the hours of sleep not even close to being enough to give Catherine the strength to move. Fatigue and hunger tinged her every step, and her feet felt like they weighed more than twice her body. The snow began picking up as well, just another item to add to the list of things that went wrong.

"Maria," she finally broke down and asked, "what do we do about food?"

"I was just thinking the same thing." Maria snorted and rubbed her hand against her forehead, pressing the chilled skin until it reddened just as much as her cheeks and nose. "We're farther from any towns than I was hoping. We'll have to hunt, I guess." Much farther than she'd been hoping? It suddenly struck Catherine how lost they truly were. Even the lieutenant was admitting it.

She didn't know if she could do it—could survive the days of travel it could take to get to any kind of civilization. She didn't know if there was even a point. If she hadn't been there, would Maria still be moving as slowly? Would she have already made it to safety, had Catherine not weighed her down?

"You're making a very strange face," Maria observed, eyes bright despite it all. "Come on, we need to find something to eat. I wish I'd grabbed my bag. There were some rations in there…"

Catherine followed her, veering from the direction they'd been going and heading much deeper into the forest. They'd been sticking close to the train tracks, just inside the forest, but Maria was walking even farther than she'd gone when they'd last searched for a place to rest.

Hunting was never something Catherine had even dreamed of doing, but it was fascinating, watching the lieutenant. "Couldn't you just shoot it?" she asked, watching Maria pull out a knife after managing to catch a rabbit. She had the blade pressed to its throat. Catherine had to look away.

"I don't want to waste bullets," was all the answer Maria gave.

They fell into a pattern: walking during the night, hunting for food in the last few hours, and stopping when they found a suitable place to rest. They walked for hours, but Catherine knew they weren't moving very fast. She wasn't dressed for winter, or for travel, and Maria mother-henned her constantly, asking if her legs were warm enough beneath her skirt, if she needed to stop, if she was having trouble breathing. It was overwhelming. But even so, when Maria made her leg coverings with skins from the animals they ate, Catherine wasn't about to complain.

On the fourth day, they'd taken refuge in a spacious cavern they'd found not too deep into the forest. The thick walls protected them from the worst of the wind, which was beginning to pick up speed and drop rapidly in temperature. It was a good sign, Maria had promised. The colder it was, the closer they were to Northern HQ.

"Not tired?"

Catherine shook her head, sitting up against the cavern wall, Maria's jacket wrapped around her. It was secluded enough that Maria had felt safe starting a fire—Catherine intended to enjoy the warmth. "I feel too tired to sleep," she said, voice scratchy.

"Water?"

Catherine made a face. Boiling snow into water was, for lack of a better word, gross. There could be anything in it, so why drink it?

Maria rolled her eyes and took a swig of the water, settling down against the wall next to Catherine.

"I wonder how much longer we have to walk," Catherine murmured, eyes drooping shut in the face of the fire's heat. She struggled to keep them open, not wanting to waste the opportunity.

"Soon, I hope," Maria said, just as softly. She looked exhausted and pale, her face drawn. "I'd give anything for a real bed right about now. Food, too."

"I just want to live," Catherine said, quiet. They hadn't spoken about the alternative to finding a town, but Catherine thought about it constantly. If she died in the forest, would anyone find her? Would their bodies be lost in the snow?

"You will," Maria promised again. "You've got a wedding to get to, remember?"

"I suppose so."

Maria went quiet for a moment, and Catherine thought she'd fallen asleep until she spoke again. "Do you want to get married?"

"I—" Catherine hesitated. "I don't know what I want," she admitted.

"You don't know if you want to get married?" Maria echoed. "Then why do it?"

"For my family," she said. At the time her father had presented her with the proposal, she hadn't needed another reason. What else would she have done?

"I can't see your brother wanting you to get married to someone you've never met for his sake," Maria said, dubious.

"What else would I do?" Catherine asked, eyebrows dipping down.

"Whatever you want to do," Maria said, as though it was just that simple. "You should do it if it's what you want to do, but if it's not—if you don't want to marry this man—then you should reject the proposal. Don't you want to make your own choices?"

"I don't know," Catherine said again. "I mean, yes, I do, of course I do!"

Maria laughed sleepily, heading lolling to the side. She jerked up again, obviously fighting her own fatigue. "Prove it," she said. "Tell me one thing you want, all on your own. Something that has nothing to do with what anyone else wants for you."

"I do things I want!" Catherine insisted. "There's nothing wrong with having a sense of familial pride and duty! It is the Armstrong family's—"

Maria groaned loudly. "No, not that! I get that enough from your brother!"

Catherine sniffed. "I suppose."

"What I meant," Maria interjected, "was that you're like—like one of those fairytale princesses! The one locked up in a tower and just pushed every which way until she doesn't know what's up or down. Do you really want to let everyone else decide how your life should go?"

"No," Catherine said after a moment. "I really don't."

"Then name one thing," Maria pressed. "Something you want for yourself. Something that has nothing to do with your Armstrong traditions!"

"Well," Catherine began, the red blossoming in her cheeks having nothing to do with the weather for once. "I wanted to have my first kiss."

"Your first kiss," Maria repeated, frowning.

"With someone I liked," Catherine clarified. "I—" It was embarrassing to talk about, but she'd harbored the same fantasy as any other girl about the romance of one's first kiss. "I wish it wouldn't be with some—some man I'd never met," she finished. "I wanted to choose that, at least."

"How old are you?" Maria interrupted, and then added sheepishly, "If you don't mind my asking."

"Nineteen," Catherine said. "Why?"

"Just curious. I'm surprised you haven't managed to get your first kiss already. You're awfully pretty."

Face flushing dark, Catherine smiled, feeling a pleasant warmth in her chest. "Thank you, Maria. But no, I—I've never gotten the chance."

"I'm sorry," Maria said, "that you're going to miss out on that. But, you know, it's not too late."

"How?"

"It's like I said earlier. If you don't want to marry this man, whoever he is, then you shouldn't have to. You should just go home."

Home, Catherine thought with a sharp pain in her chest. Nothing sounded better in that moment than going back home, back to Central. "Do you really think that?"

"I think," Maria said, her voice thick and weary, "that you're perfectly capable of getting out of your tower all on your own."

All on her own—what a thought. Maria's head lolled to the side again, this time for good, the woman out like a light. Catherine let her sleep. She needed it, after all. But still—Maria thought she was perfectly capable of making her own choices, of living her own path. The same Maria who had to protect her and hunt for her and look for caves and walk so slow for her—the same Maria whose independence and strength Catherine had envied from the moment she'd seen her.

For the first time, Catherine felt an odd sense of peace. Maybe Maria was right. Maybe it was time she came down from her tower.

*

Maria woke just as the fire began burning down. "Why didn't you wake me?" she asked, sitting up off Catherine's shoulder, frantic. "What if we'd been found?"

After four days, Catherine was fairly secure in the belief that they weren't being pursued, but she knew better than to say so. Deciding to humor Maria, she said, "I was keeping an eye out. I would have woken you."

"I can't believe I fell asleep," Maria muttered.

"What about you?" Catherine asked suddenly.

"What about me?"

"Are you married?" Catherine couldn't remember seeing a ring on Maria's finger, but she might have missed it.

There was a sudden shift, and Maria stood, looking away from Catherine. "I'm not married."

"Really?" It must be something about military women, Catherine decided. After all, her sister wasn't married either. "Have you never met anyone then? Someone you'd like to?"

If she didn't know better, Catherine would have thought Maria was blushing. "My, ah, circumstances are a bit different than yours, Catherine."

"How so?"

"I—don't think about it the way you do," Maria said. "It's—I'm not interested."

"Not interested?" Catherine asked, frowning. "In getting married?"

"No," Maria said, sighing, "in men."

The cave was quiet then, the only sound coming from the slight crackling of the dying flame. "Not…interested in men?" Catherine echoed, mind blank. Then the meaning behind the words hit her. "Oh! Oh, I'm—I'm sorry!"

"It doesn't bother me," Maria said, tense. "Don't worry about it." Catherine opened her mouth to speak, but Maria cut her to it. "You need to get some sleep before the sun rises. We'll be picking up speed today. You need to be as well-rested as possible."

Apparently, the topic wasn't up for discussion. Catherine knew that— _that_ sort of thing bothered some people, but her brother didn't seem to care one way or the other, and her father was always making jokes about wondering when Olivier would bring a nice girl home. It didn't seem fair that someone as nice as Maria should have to be alone, no matter what her… persuasion was.

"All right," she said quietly, finally allowing her eyes to drift shut. The last thing she saw was Maria shifting the firewood and trying to fan the flames hotter.

*

When Catherine woke, she was somehow instantly alert, the chill from the train back full force, eating her fatigue and spitting out a rush of adrenalin. "Maria?" she asked, unable to stop the tremor from infecting her voice. "Are you there?"

The fire was out, and Maria didn't answer. Catherine huddled against the wall, shifting the jacket and pushing herself up into a standing position, moving slowly. "Maria?" she tried again, unable to raise her voice above a wavering whisper.

She edged her way out of the cavern, pausing just at the entrance. The sun hadn't yet fully sunk behind the horizon, but the sky was beginning to take on a dark hue. There was nothing out in front of the entrance, as far as Catherine looked. No Maria—and no Drachmans.

Opening her mouth to call out one more time, Catherine's jaw clicked shut at the sight of a familiar head of dark hair down in the snow. "Maria!" She ran out, dragging Maria's coat with her.

"Get back in the cave," Maria hissed, pushing at her arms when Catherine tried to grab her. "They're here, you idiot, they just can't find you, now go!"

Catherine ignored her, dragging Maria up and wrapping one of the woman's arms around her shoulders, dragging them both until she was tumbling into the small entrance to the cavern, pulling Maria back into the deeper parts. When she leaned the older woman against the wall, the hand that had been bracing Maria's side came away smeared with red.

"You're bleeding," she whispered, the words sticking in her throat. "Maria, you're—"

"It's not bad," Maria said. "I was grazed by a bullet. It's only bleeding a little, but—we can't stay here."

"What happened?"

"I heard them," Maria said. "Just after you fell asleep, not ten minutes after, I heard voices."

"So you went to see? Why?" Catherine asked, incredulous. "If they couldn't find us, then why didn't you just wait?"

"Because I didn't know for certain that they wouldn't find us," Maria snapped. "You don't seem to understand—they're Drachmans. We don't know what technology they have with them and we don't know how many of them there are. We don't know anything and we can't take chances!"

"Can't take chances," Catherine repeated, shaking her head. She felt—angry, angry that Maria hadn't just woken her up, hadn't trusted her enough to explain what was going on in the first place. "What if you'd died?" she asked. "What if I'd woken up and you were just gone—for good, not just outside of the cave? What would I have done?" Died, most likely. Catherine harbored no delusions about her chances of survival without the lieutenant.

Maria rubbed her eyes and swallowed loudly. "I'm sorry," she said after a moment. "You're right. That wasn't very fair to you, was it?"

"Please don't be so reckless, Maria," Catherine said quietly.

"I'm not," Maria said, and then quickly amended, "usually." She shook her head. "What a mess," she murmured.

"When will it be safe to move?"

"We need to move as soon as possible," Maria said, tapping her chin. "But we'll have to be even more careful now. They're on to us."

"This is ridiculous," Catherine said, twisting her hands in her clothes. "It won't even do them any good!"

"It's probably not even about you anymore, Catherine."

"How?" Catherine demanded. "They're still chasing us!"

"Because wouldn't it be embarrassing to have to go home and tell your superior you couldn't catch a teenage girl and one under-equipped female soldier?" Maria shrugged. "I've heard rumors about what they do to soldiers who fail missions in Drachma. It's not pretty."

So she was nothing but a means to an end now? It was sickening, how helpless she felt. "I hope we make it to a town soon," Catherine murmured.

"Me too."

*

They waited for another hour before venturing back out into the forest, moving much faster than before, cautious in their every move. Maria refused to put her gun away, hovering anxiously at Catherine's side.

"But where did they go?" Catherine asked in a hushed tone when they'd first stepped out of the cave.

"There's no telling," Maria said.

Three hours into their fifth night of walking, Catherine caught sight of the most spectacular image she'd ever seen: smoke billowing up over the trees, not too far in the distance.

"Is it a town?" she asked, pointing excitedly. Catherine almost wanted to scold herself, to prevent herself from getting her hopes up, but it was smoke! It had to come from somewhere!

"It might be," Maria said, eyes glowing. "It would explain why the Drachmans took off and haven't shown up again. Towns in the North are notorious for having undercover soldiers from Briggs stationed every place imaginable. Most of the time, they say you don't even realize you're speaking to a soldier."

In her enthusiasm at the discovery, Catherine grabbed Maria's hand, pulling the woman closer as she practically vibrated with excitement. She felt Maria go stiff against her for the briefest of moments, then relax. It felt strangely normal to be there with Maria, and perhaps it was just that they'd been alone together for so long. Smiling a bit sheepishly, she let go of the older woman, pulling the uniform coat tighter around her shoulders. Maria was giving her a rather dazed look but quickly snapped out of it, shaking her head in one rough movement and giving Catherine a playful shove in the shoulder.

"Come on," Maria said, nodding at the smoke. "Let's go find a town!"

Suddenly, moving quickly wasn't so much a chore as a necessity. Every time Maria slowed down, Catherine would grab her arm and give her a tug, looking back agitatedly. If Catherine began to drag, Maria would laugh and knock her with her elbows until she picked up the pace. Every last bit of energy Catherine had lost since she'd boarded that doomed train was flooding back into her with the knowledge of her upcoming success. When the town became visible through the trees, not too far to the right of the tracks, Catherine flushed with success, with the pleasure of knowing she'd survived.

When she and Maria stumbled into the town, weary and starving and pained, Catherine couldn't have been happier.

*

"They're sending an envoy," Maria said, walking into the room. Once the innkeeper had gotten word of just whose baby sister had walked into his inn, the man had been remarkably accommodating, going as far as to give them a room for free, meals included. "They'll be here tomorrow to, ah, take you to meet your, er, intended."

Maria looked concerned. Catherine tried not to be afraid of the next day, tried to look like she didn't mind it, but ( _I think you're perfectly capable of getting out of your tower all on your own_ ) a new rebellious voice spoke out in her mind, one that reminded her that she could choose to reject the proposal.

She could choose to go _home._

"How are you feeling?" Catherine asked, refusing to think anymore about the next day. "Is your side bothering you?" She'd only just managed to wash the blood from her hand—the sight of it was something she wouldn't soon forget.

"It feels much better now that I've had a bath and gotten it cleaned up. But really," Maria reassured, "it wasn't much of a wound, just a graze."

Of course Maria would be worried about whether or not Catherine was worried. Catherine sat on her bed and watched Maria sit on her own, bouncing a bit on the mattress and smiling widely. "Oh, this is too good."

"It's nice, isn't it? Getting to sleep on a real bed."

"Definitely," Maria confirmed. "In fact, it sounds so nice, that I'm going to go ahead and do just that."

It was tempting, to just fall straight asleep and worry about tomorrow when the sun rose and the envoy arrived. But there was no telling what that would bring, and Catherine—

It wasn't bad, Maria had said, to want to choose things for yourself. There was nothing wrong with having your own desires, separate from your family.

Catherine stood up and walked over to Maria's bed, fidgeting as she stood beside it.

"All right?" Maria asked, staring up at her.

"I'm fine," Catherine answered automatically, looking away. She was blushing, she knew she was blushing, but—there was something she had to do. She might never get the chance to, after all. "Can—can you stand up?" Catherine asked, face burning and trying her hardest not to stutter.

Maria said nothing, merely nodded and stood next to the bed, watching Catherine warily.

"Close your eyes," Catherine added. "And don't open them." Something strange flickered in Maria's eyes, but the woman complied and closed them before Catherine had the chance to figure out what.

Taking a deep breath, Catherine moved closer until there was barely an inch between their bodies, put her hands on Maria's shoulders, and stretched up on her tiptoes, hovering for just a moment before pressing her lips, chapped from the cold, to Maria's, her eyes drifting shut as well. Maria went rigid, but quickly relaxed, letting her mouth soften as she rested her hands cautiously at Catherine's waist.

A kiss, Catherine thought with no small amount of excitement. It might not have been exactly what she'd imagined, but when Maria pulled back and Catherine got a good look at her bright red face, she couldn't help but think that maybe what she'd gotten in the end was much better.

"What—" Maria cleared her throat and stepped away. "What was that for?"

"If I'm getting married, then that's that," Catherine said slowly. "It might not mean much to anyone else, but I wanted my first kiss to be with someone I liked. Even if it's—strange," she said quickly, not knowing a better way to phrase it, "I like you. I can trust you, Maria." She smiled. "Thank you for everything."

Maria looked away, clearing her throat. "No problem," she said thickly. "I hope—I hope everything works out for you."

"Me too," Catherine said quietly, moving to turn the lights off for the night. In the morning, her life would change completely. A full night's rest sounded perfect.

*

Maria watched Catherine check in with the soldiers from Briggs, reverting to a complete stranger, someone much shyer and unsure of herself than the girl she'd traveled through the Northern wilderness with. It was sad, really. Catherine deserved—

She shook her head clear of the thought. What Catherine deserved had nothing to do with her, and if she knew what was good for herself, she wouldn't be thinking of it.

"Lieutenant Ross?"

"Yes, sir," Maria stood at attention.

"I'm not sure if you remember me," the soldier said. "Major Miles. Major General Armstrong sent me to retrieve her sister and leave this with you." He handed her a small envelope. Glancing at the man, Maria took the envelope and pulled out a single ticket. "It will take you all the way back to Central," Miles explained. "The train will come through here tonight. Until then, the town will make certain that you have everything you need."

"Thank you, sir," Maria said after a moment, slightly stunned. "I appreciate the thought."

"Consider it a gift," the man said dryly, "from the illustrious Armstrong family."

That, Maria could understand.

*

Maria hadn't exactly been expecting an invitation to Catherine's wedding, but she'd been hoping for an announcement or for some sort of contact from her. Three months had passed since she'd boarded the train Central-bound, leaving Catherine Armstrong and the entire ordeal behind her. She shouldn't have expected anything from the young woman. The kiss had been—

Well. The kiss had been a kiss, and to be frank, it had shocked Maria more than she could have expressed. If there was ever a way for Catherine to say _I could care less which way you swing_ , that had been it.

When the knock sounded on the door of her apartment, it was just after four in the afternoon on one of her rare days off. Maria tossed aside the book she'd been reading on the couch and stood up, stretching languidly before opening the front door—

—and freezing.

"Catherine?" she asked once her mouth started working again. "What…?"

"Hello, Maria," Catherine said, smiling widely. She looked nice, so much happier than when Maria first met her. Married life must have been going well.

"Would you like to come in?" Maria asked awkwardly. Catherine didn't seem to feel it, because she nodded and stepped right inside, letting Maria close the door behind her. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to ask you to dinner," Catherine said.

"Dinner." Maria stared. "Why? Is your husband in town or something?"

The younger woman fidgeted, and then held up her hands, wiggling her fingers. Maria frowned, confused for a few moments before she actually _looked_ at Catherine's hands.

No ring. She wasn't married.

"You didn't do it," Maria said, struck dumb. "You didn't marry him?"

"No," Catherine said. "I decided that maybe it was time I got down out of my tower on my own."

"Good idea," Maria said, unable to stop herself from smiling. "Very sound advice."

"I like to think so," Catherine said, then added in a nervous, stuttering squeak, "so I thought we should have dinner!"

"Yes," Maria said quickly, "definitely."

Catherine looked relieved, her smile easing. "Where would you like to go?"

"Oh, I'm sure I can think of a place," Maria said, opening the door again and holding it for Catherine. She walked out, giving Maria a shy smile, and Maria, laughing quietly to herself, shut the door behind her.


End file.
